How to Disappear for a Week Without Faking Your Own Death

Dusty Smith
Jun 11
3 min read

Updated: Jun 22

A Cheeky Guide to Truly Disconnecting on Vacation We’ve all been there. You plan a vacation to "relax"—but somehow your out-of-office turns into "I’ll just check one email" which spirals into a group thread, a fire to put out, and before you know it, you’re doom-scrolling Slack in a beach chair with sand in your laptop keys.

This isn’t the getaway you deserve.

So what’s the secret to vanishing (responsibly) for a glorious, phone-muted, soul-refilling week? It’s not witness protection. It’s intentional disconnection. Here’s how to disappear without faking your own death—and still come back refreshed, glowing, and possibly with a tan line in the shape of a cocktail umbrella.

Step 1: Announce Your Vanishing Act with Confidence

Let people know you’ll be gone and mean it. Your out-of-office should be more than “I’ll have limited access to email.” That’s code for “Please keep bothering me.” Instead, try:

“I’m currently away, off-grid, and pretending the internet doesn’t exist. I’ll respond when I return on [insert glorious return date here]. If it’s urgent, it can wait. If it’s truly urgent, I suggest a walk and some deep breathing.”

Set the tone. Protect the vibe.

Step 2: Put Your Phone on a Digital Detox Diet

No one’s asking you to throw your phone into the ocean (though we won’t stop you).

But do this:

Delete work apps for the week. Slack, Teams, email—gone. You can reinstall them later. Or not. We don’t judge.
Silence notifications that aren’t directly related to travel or safety.
Consider a burner vacation number or local SIM if you have to be reachable for logistics, but want to avoid the rest.

If that sounds scary, ask yourself—do you own your phone, or does it own you?

Step 3: Choose Your Escape Wisely

Some places are made for unplugging. Here are a few destinations that practically force you to breathe deeper and check out:

A mountain cabin with zero bars of cell service
A beach resort where the only "ping" is a drink being set down
A quaint European village where time moves slower and cafés don’t do Wi-Fi
A wellness retreat where phones get locked in a box and you thank them for it later

At Sterling Odyssey Travel, we can help you find these magic spots that whisper, “Rest here. You’re safe. No spreadsheets in sight.”

Step 4: Replace Screen Time with Real Time

So now that you’re unreachable—what do you do?

Read the book that’s been collecting dust since last fall
Take a nap without setting an alarm
Go on a spontaneous excursion, guided only by curiosity and possibly a scooter
Actually taste your food instead of photographing it from six angles

Disconnecting doesn’t just mean no Wi-Fi. It means reconnecting—with yourself, your travel companions, and the world around you.

Step 5: Don’t Apologize for the Glow-Up

You’re not being selfish. You’re being well.You’re not avoiding responsibilities. You’re hitting reset so you can return better.

And when you do return—rested, recharged, and full of stories—don’t ruin it by diving straight back into chaos. Ease in. Savor the peace. Maybe even book the next escape before the inbox strikes again.

Bonus Tips for a Clean Getaway

Use a trusted travel advisor (hello, Sterling Odyssey) to handle all logistics so your brain doesn’t have to
Schedule travel days with buffer time for decompression
Leave one outfit unworn, just so you come home feeling like you still have something new